The Banner

Being single in the American Christian culture can be depressing. Here at California Baptist University the phrase "ring by spring" is rehearsed ad nauseam, and people like me feel inadequate because of it.

This push for marriage is sometimes overwhelming. Friends and family are so eager to set me up with guys because they think I should be in a relationship. I still don't understand why I need to be a cute accessory on a man's arm. Don't get me wrong- it would be nice. But that is certainly not my ultimate purpose: God has greater plans.

Hollywood depicts eros as both a cultural and personal norm. For example, "West Side Story" portrayed main characters that kissed, danced and fell in love. In "What Happens in Vegas" the two main characters did not even know one another. This did not inhibit their getting drunk and waking up married. In "17 Again" the geeky best friend Ned Gold and Principal Jane Masterson went out to dinner- then they went back to his place. Later in the movie, of course, they ended up in bed together.

The media presents a warped depiction of love and marriage, which more often than not leaves many young people confused. In my attempts to be like Christ, I often ask myself what Biblical love and marriage look like. This is difficult without a concrete, godly example to grow up under.

Only recently have I begun to understand marriage and the purpose it fulfills. God created marriage for one man and one woman to understand the relationship we are to have with him. An intentioned intimacy without condition-agape love- is exactly how God wants to be in relationship with us. This is displayed biblically in Isaiah 62:5, it reads: "As a young man marries a maiden, so will your sons marry you; as a bridegroom rejoices over his bride, so will your God rejoice over you."

"Later I passed by, and when I looked at you and saw that you were old enough for love, I spread the corner of my garment over you and covered your nakedness. I gave you my solemn
oath and entered into a covenant with you, declares the Sovereign Lord, and you became mine," Ezekiel 16:8 said.

Individual relationships are microcosms of an ultimate and fully comprehensive macrocosm. If individuals disregard the creator of the universe as the one and only love, then all else is meaningless and heartbreaking. When we desire our husband, wife, boyfriend or girlfriend more than God, we commit adultery.

Without God as my first love, I will never know how to love anyone else. He teaches us how to love and accept love. He showed his love by sending Jesus to be the sacrifice for our sins, so we can have the opportunity to enjoy his love and presence.

Do not belittle the cross- that was the most powerful representation of love in action. Even though Jesus did not want to subject himself to anguish and torment, he went to the cross in obedience to the Father who passionately loved his people.

Love God, love others. This was the order God gave as the "greatest" commandment. When we recognize that his love surpasses anything we could ever experience, we allow him to love us by letting him work through us. "Biblical love is not felt but behaved," Professor of Anthropology and Behavioral Sciences Bruce Stokes said in his Marriage and Family in Christian Community class. "Agape is the basis of Christian relationships, and of God's relationship with His people. God's love is a commitment to us for our good. Our love for one another is to be a commitment for each other's good," Stokes said in "Toward a Christian Marriage."

I never knew love until I found it in God. God is passionate about his people like a husband is passionate about his wife. So many people are out to find "the one" but fail to look to God. Before loving another, one must learn how to submit unto and love God. Before looking out, one must look in to rediscover how passionately God is in pursuit of his creation.

He is faithful. He is persistent. He is loving. He is beautiful. He is forgiving. He is the protector. He is the provider. He is everything a Biblical husband must be.

"For your Maker is your husband-the Lord Almighty is his name-the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer; he is called the God of all the earth," Isaiah 54:5 said.